The Awkward Moment that Stood the Test of Time

Author: A

My stories really didn't start till last year. I spent the summer of 2002 until February of 2010 with my now ex husband. Anything that had happened between him and I pretty must got put into the Get Lost memory file. I had several funny little incidents that never really amounted to much. I decided that my goal (yes, I had a goal) for at least the first 6 months was to somehow find someone I trust, to break that mold I had found myself in, to make me feel like it is okay with dating etc.


Attempt One: So the first guy I come across (we will call him Matthew) I had known him from school years prior and had a huge crush on him back in the day. Needless to say, I was flattered by the idea of him being interested in me. One night I went over to his house; he was being uberly aggressive and kept saying "you always had great tits when we were in school." I remember giggling at the idea, that this is what he was saying to me to get me all bothered. What I remember him looking like back then, and what he looked like now... face the same but body slightly different, the six pack he had in school, gone... that cute little ass...gone.... How was I going to make this work? I was picking him apart and with every word he spoke the more I became annoyed with him. So then comes the big kahuna. I thought he probably was well endowed as I thought I remembered from a one hot summer night in school. Nope... Not at all.. I must of dreamt that up.. It was disappointing. I ended up saying something like I felt sick and never went through with anything because I just couldn't because of the lack in size. So... that was attempt one.


Attempt Two: During my summer, I spent a lot of time hanging out with a girl friend of mine. I thought we were close; I will get to that another day. We went out when we could and in general just had a great time. There became a point where we were kinda hanging out with the same guys a lot; these were guys that I knew from school. Actually, we go way back like four flats on cadillac old. There was some unspoken sexual tension between myself and a guy which I felt when we had to enter the home through the window (the home owner couldn't find his keys; he later found them in a field somewhere!). Anyway, after a night of drinking and a trip to our usual 24/7 breakfast stop, we went back to these two's humble abode. He starts playing something and we are talking, then he is singing to me. It just kind of put me in the moment where I honestly couldn't believe this was happening. We started to make out and I could hear my friend in the other room getting it on. I was thinking about how awkward this is; here I am, afraid to proceed forward with this because I am flat out scared. I tried to just relax and toss all that to the side.

At this point things are seeming to go really well. Then my conscious starts telling me that this isn't right, I will ruin our friendship. Fuck it, I decided. Did I mention how soft his lips were? Dear god, that was a passionate and fantastic kiss if I ever had one. As we moved into the kitchen, he now has me pinned up against the wall, so my next inkling is to hop on him like a damn kangeroo...and apparently I jumped too soon because next thing I know, I am falling and he is letting me fall (HUGE FAIL!!). We both burst into laughter; my fall was so loud, it was one I am sure the neighbors heard (if they didn't hear the other two guys fuckin because their girls were loud!).

After he proceeds to help me up we proceed back to the living room on the couch where Pretty Ricky is playing. He still at this point had sex on the mind so he proceeds to pop out his dick... I took one look at it and got scared. Not like the evil witch is coming from the wizard of oz kind of scared, but scared like panic when you go to the local Mexican restaurant and get a burrito and think how am I suppose to fit all that in my mouth? I had never seen something so big, so wide.. I remember thining to myself that it was a lot for one girl to take. I think maybe he had tried to do one of those let me slap you on the cheek with my wang moves... Guys, that will never work. I proceeded to tell him how I couldn't go forward because I cherished our friendship to much to ruin it with a blow job, sex, etc. He politely put his dick away and said that he understood. We continued to talk and just enjoyed each other until the sun came up. I think as time goes on the mores stories you read from me will show that I put sex on a pedestal. It means more to me than sticking your sausage in my muffin.... That it is not to be taken lightly. ...Still with attempt two that is the awkward moment that stood the test of time.

Attempt Three: The one that broke the mold... This happened so quickly there is no funny story really to it. This guy I will call Arthur, he and I happened to know each other for a long time as well. I won't get into too much as how we know each other because then if he was to read this he would know it was him. He is a genuine good friend of mine, always the guy telling me I deserve better and am worth so much more. He was right by my side when I went through my fallout with "turning tables;" that blog is later to come. Anyway one night, he was hanging out with my friend and I went and got stupid drunk and, well, we did what most drunk people do at 3 a.m. It was great, too. I let my guard down and dear god, he was the perfect guy to let your guard down around. I remember for the rest of the summer him and I continued our beautiful friends with benefits relationship. At one point I found myself getting jealous. That was when I knew that we were using our FWB status too much and my emotions were definitely involved. He drew back away from me, as I drew from him. We still talk from time to time, but our friendship is nothing like it was before. He was the one that broke the mold and there was no turning back from there. I learned from these three attempts a few things. I can't let my past determine my future (which as you will see in future blogs I still do from time to time, because a hard head makes a soft ass), you have to fail first before you can succeed, and high school crushes are just high school crushes and should be left in high school.