Verbal Porn

Author: F

"Now what do you want to do?"

"Are you seriously asking me what I want to do after we practically fucked in the cab?"

I stared at Donovan and began to mentally count how many beers we had drank at Finn McCool's. "No we didn't. It's called making out. Besides, the cabbie didn't mind, therefore we were obviously not 'practically fucking,'" I retorted, lowering my voice to mock Donovan.

"Whatever. Let's go to my dad's building instead of Excalibur."

"Works for me. Besides, you know that they would never let me in there tonight," I pointed to my open toed sandals.

Donovan glanced at my shoes and rolled his eyes. We crossed the street and started the walk to his dad's building. Donovan took a cigarette out and started patting his jacket looking for a lighter. "Do you have a lighter?" "Pfft, yeah, I carry lighters around even though I don't smoke," I say while laughing. I pointed at three well dressed older men who were about to walk by us; "they are smoking, ask them for a light."

As Donovan stopped the men to ask for a light, the bigger of the three pushed him away. "Whoa," Donovan said, "I just wanted to ask for a light!" The shorter of the three said in a raspy voice, "eh, give him a light, it's okay." I noticed the interesting exchange and as we walked away (Donovan puffing happily away) I asked Donovan if he noticed how abnormally tan the shorter guy was for November. "Yeah, he was! He talked like fucking Rod Stewart, too," he quipped.

We stopped and looked at each other. "Holy shit, that's why the bigger guy pushed me! He's a fucking bodyguard."

"I don't know about you, Donovan, but I have to tell my mom."

"Well, now we have to do something badass since we ran into Rod Stewart on the street."

"I don't want to do anything to get arrested. I was already taken home by the cops once this year."

"And whose fault was that, Faith?"

"Um... The Hunt Club's for overserving me."

"So we can't do anything that will get us arrested and you are dressed like a riffraff so we can't get into any of the respectable clubs. What does that leave?"

"We could have sex."

"What kind of sex could we have that we haven't already had?"

I smile mischievously. "We could have porn sex."

Donovan smiled. "I was thinking the same thing. Let's have sex on the roof."

"I'm way too drunk to have sex on the roof," I protested.

"Come on, I promise I won't push you off the roof."

"Yeah right! Just like you won't cock block me when we go out, too, right?"

"Hey, you cock block me too, you know," he pointed out.

We stepped into his dad's building and Donovan went straight into his dad's office to take the keys. We decided to start on the tenth (or fourteenth, we were drunk!) floor. I had to pee pretty bad but I figured that since it was just sex and we were drunk it wouldn't last too long anyway. "Take off your jeans!" "No," I yell, "you take them off for me! I'm a lady, dammit." Donovan pushed me onto the floor and I narrowly missed landing on a forgotten hammer. Oh, did I mention we specifically went to the floor that was under construction?

"I think you are supposed to give me a strip tease since we are doing it porno style, Faith."

"You pushed me to the floor. I have no idea how to get up from the floor all sexy like just to take my clothes off."

I fumble with my clothes and give up. "I'm suddenly bored," I say.

"You are not bored."

"Yes, I am," I said, faking a yawn.

"Well, prepare yourself to be un-bored."

"Whatever," I said, "I'm drunk and I am bored."

"Well I am going to keep you entertained. I hope you don't like your thong too much." The words hadn't had time to register before Donovan ripped my thong off of me. "I always wanted to do that," he yelled. "Give me a high five!"

"Donovan, my ass is burning! That was my favorite one, asshole. No sex for you! I'm going to kill you," I say, pushing him. Thus began our chase throughout the floor, both of us laughing hysterically and taking turns christening whatever room striked our fancy. During the third chase I stopped suddenly and looked at Donovan, crossing my legs and jumping. "Take me to the bathroom!"

"What? I am not carrying you to the bathroom."

"If I move I'm going to piss myself!"

"Do not piss on this floor! Then my dad will know I came here!!"

"Okay, I'm going to run to the bathroom."

"You are not going to make it to the bathroom. I have never seen a chick piss in a porno" he yelled after me.

"Too late," I yelled, running to the bathroom.

I didn't make it to the bathroom.

"You owe me one for pissing on the floor."

"It's not my fault you took me to a floor where the bathroom is all the fuck on the other side. Besides, it's under construction and I pissed on a plastic cover; I'll throw it away and it'll be fine."

We both looked at each other, drunk and wondering what the fuck we were doing running around naked when we both were aware there were security cameras installed. I suppose now, looking back on it, we were taking our porno style sex somewhat seriously. "I'm ready for the rooftop," I said.

The climb to the rooftop sucked every time, and I will tell you why. Where the door to the roof opened up was several feet higher than the rooftop itself. We had to step onto a metal stairway to climb down, and the stairway was so old that every time we were on it, it would sway. Not only would it sway, but it would creak loudly, too. Now, if we fell off of it, it wouldn't have been a dangerous fall or anything, but the simple fact that we had to climb those stupid stairs just to get to the nice side of the roof sucked. We walked over to the edge and began talking about the people who were as small as ants that were walking below us.

Donovan and I were a slightly daring twosome. He and I had previously had sex in a courtyard and also thought running around nude in Chicago was a sport. I was pretty skinny at the time from running a lot and not eating, and he was gifted with a naturally nice body. I think because we were always drunk and horny we assumed that everyone around us was as well and wouldn't mind our antics.

"Let's just have sex doggy style here. If people see my boobs then they can thank the lord that he made such nice boobs. Plus we'll both have a nice view."

"Alright," Donovan readily agreed, "and I promise I won't push you off the side!"

I don't know if I can ever truly put into words how awesome rooftop sex is. There we were, on the roof of one of the taller buildings off of Grand, having sex while looking at the people below us who were walking to and from clubs and bars, being as loud as we wanted. I'm not the biggest fan of heights but I believe in facing fears, so knowing that all it would take would be Donovan to fall into me to make me fall over the side definitely added to the excitement of it all.

"Oh my god, I'm exhausted," Donovan said, leaning on my back.

"I'm not only exhausted, I'm also sore. Thanks for ruining my skivvies!"

Donovan smiled, "I am keeping them, fyi."